shut the front door

Adieu Anew

Sat, 20 Oct 2012 22:54:00 -0400

I never thought I could be alone. I really am not alone anyways, I am guarded constantly by two stinky pit bulls and a television blaring. Mind you, the Bose system blares and bumps, the surround sound surrounds, the television silent all the while. But I sit here, sole human and all, mindlessly staring through two year old movie after movie, comedy after romance after bad joke. Cherry Vanilla creme soda after filtered water after carrot juice before Pinot Noir.

I bought a bottle of Orogeny, and every cell in my body wants to open it in Pittsburgh in the presence of my gals and whine about jeans not fitting and boys. I’ve spent more time and money in liquor stores here than anywhere yet. Sure, there were a few hundred plus dollar grocery trips… a couple fifty plus dollar accidental shopping trips… but it’s been the wine for me. My expensive vice and habit. Cotes du Rhone, Rose, Sauvignon Blanc, Torrontes, Riesling, Chianti, Pinot Noir, Syrah, Cabernet Sauvignon… bottles I’ve recycled… every other Thursday morning… except for this past one, when I forgot to take out those big black bags.

The habit of waiting for the restaurants and bars to let out at one am then cooking dinner and cracking a bottle of wine is getting me down. I want normal hours of life and light and interaction with other people, other beings than these two stinky pit bulls. I started a new job, new place, new people. They seem familiar and nice and lovely but the learning process is hard. Not learning menu items and recipes, learning names and faces and habits and facts and information about people gets difficult. I had a tight group. Now I’ll share too much with everyone or not enough with anyone.

But let it go. Let it loose. Try again. Start anew. I met a girl named Anu a few weeks ago. Irrelevant. I am done. Off to finish the Sangiovese and pop the Pinot Noir. Off to make a ham sandwich with cheese and lettuce and mayo on toast. Every time the sandwich the same… the soup to dip different. My jeans have been unbuttoned this whole time. The whole whine time.

I am wondering how I am having so many nightmares when I can’t even sleep. I can’t find...

Mon, 01 Oct 2012 13:46:21 -0400

I am wondering how I am having so many nightmares when I can’t even sleep.

I can’t find a job.

My money is running out.

I am lonely.

&the world goes on without me.

I’ve been good lately taking the correct ways home. Even though I know my travels get me into...

Mon, 23 Apr 2012 02:23:23 -0400

I’ve been good lately

taking the correct ways home.

Even though I know

my travels get me into your bad graces.

I flew to Providence

and brought you home Colonial Bitters.

I took it out of my Jeep suitcase.

I drove to New York City

and brought you home Katz’s Deli.

I left corned beef at your door.

I drove to Philadelphia

and bought you a rare EP.

You let me spend the night in my long black skirt.

I know I’m not going to cross

your path again.

Because I’m taking the right ones

the straight ones

not the longcuts

not the out-of-my-ways.

Not the times

I try too hard to make you

see something you never did in me.

Funny you should mention it. I’m actually really angry and upset & officially am beginning...

Thu, 01 Mar 2012 03:09:23 -0500

Funny you should mention it.

I’m actually really angry and upset

& officially am beginning to hate you.

Wisen up a bit.

Listen more.

Talk less.

You helped me mess this up.

I changed the world to fit you and I in it.

THE ANSWERS explodingdog: Crazy Monster finds the woods, I hope...

Sun, 05 Feb 2012 01:51:54 -0500

THE ANSWERS

explodingdog:

Crazy Monster finds the woods, I hope he doesn’t find the bagels to be disappointing.

Crazy Monster decides to head into the woods

Lord I was born a rambling man Just trying to make a living Doing the best I can

Thu, 26 Jan 2012 03:14:52 -0500

Lord I was born a rambling man

Just trying to make a living

Doing the best I can

Anyone who was in my childhood bedroom knows how much I love...

Sat, 21 Jan 2012 13:46:07 -0500

Anyone who was in my childhood bedroom knows how much I love this song.

It was amazing to stand so close to this song that always meant the world to me.

The last two texts I sent

Thu, 19 Jan 2012 02:07:20 -0500

“Keep it all. I don’t want to go back there again.”

“I just don’t want to go back again. Keep it or leave it I don’t care.”

…to a move that took six months.

And you respond with a picture of the cats.

Like I needed to cry more.

The greatest part of it all was walking by myself talking to myself thinking of myself.

Mon, 16 Jan 2012 20:20:34 -0500

The greatest part of it all was

walking by myself

talking to myself

thinking of myself.

Experiment In Expectation: Here's the common tipping mistake you may have heard me going on about recently...

Mon, 16 Jan 2012 16:55:49 -0500

Experiment In Expectation: Here's the common tipping mistake you may have heard me going on about recently...:

Kudos Will.

awhisperpoetic:

Let’s say 5 people go out to dinner, and end up with a bill totaling $150. Four of these people have cash, the last one using their credit card. Everyone with cash looks at the bill to see what they owe. One person owes $40, one owes $50, one owes $30. The first common mistake is that people who…

explodingdog: I don’t understand you at all

Fri, 13 Jan 2012 04:13:57 -0500

explodingdog:

I don’t understand you at all

antpants: This is the first track off of my new EP. The EP is...

Wed, 11 Jan 2012 13:46:01 -0500

antpants:

This is the first track off of my new EP. The EP is called “New Cathedrals” and comes out on January 17th. You can get info on ordering the EP and more at www.anthonyraneri.com

milkstudios: Coachella 2012 We are saving all our energy for...

Tue, 10 Jan 2012 03:13:57 -0500

milkstudios:

Coachella 2012

We are saving all our energy for the reunion of At The Drive-In & Refused.

Who are you most excited to see?

Watching Public Enemies

Mon, 09 Jan 2012 00:31:47 -0500

At some point I’m just going to tell you to shut up and buzz off already.

But not just yet.

What I wouldn’t give to be watching this for the first...

Fri, 06 Jan 2012 01:34:18 -0500

What I wouldn’t give to be watching this for the first time again.

My shoes were new and shiny back then.

Motherfuckers are all ripped up now.

Damn scuffs.

Acoustic Tour and Ticket Links

Wed, 04 Jan 2012 12:53:51 -0500

Acoustic Tour and Ticket Links:

antpants:

I am starting an acoustic tour this month with my friends Chris Conley (Saves the Day), Ace Enders (Early November), Matt Pryor (Get Up Kids) and Evan Weiss (Into It.Over It). Click the link for all of the dates and ticket links

Love this shit. designersocial: Marc by Marc Jacobs Neon...

Wed, 04 Jan 2012 01:27:03 -0500

Love this shit.

designersocial:

Marc by Marc Jacobs Neon croc-effect leather shoulder bag for $495 at Net-A-Porter.com.

-JK [via Net-A-Porter.com]

Craigslist Job Postings

Tue, 03 Jan 2012 23:49:00 -0500

At one point in my life I thought I would have been clicking on things like “Geotechnical Engineer” or “Videographer Needed” but alas, I have hit my own personal low tonight when I clicked on “Bikini Bartenders Daisy Dukes Coyote Ugly Style.”

Da fuck’s wrong with me?

What did I think, it would have been eloquently written for a respectful job where you had the option to wear whatever you please so long as it showed off everything but your vaj?

Fackin 2012.

This is a home.

Mon, 26 Dec 2011 13:31:40 -0500

…But I’m spiraling. I’m losing sight of so many things, so many goals I had set for myself. There are things that I thought were a part of my soul that now I am questioning. I am lacking any direction or feeling of purpose, working just to keep a small ball turning, to keep a façade of normalcy. I keep these things in motion but realize I am drifting farther each day from what I want to be. Happy, healthy, sure. Fulfilled? Crazed by my passion for life and laughter and music and art? That’s what I’d prefer. So show me a place that I think is home. Ask me why I am so far from it. It is so corny to make resolutions, and set unreachable goals once a year for show. This ball started rolling in June. I am not waiting anymore. I am not putting this off. I am tired of backing out and cancelling and making excuses. This year my resolution is yes.

Merry Christmas I left early after drawing this party.

Tue, 20 Dec 2011 05:15:13 -0500

Merry Christmas I left early after drawing this party.